Marriage comes with its blissful and also unhappy moments. At times in marriage, it looks like the love that once existed in the relationship is no longer there. This is accompanied with constant worries and emotional trauma either on one or both of the couples . This becomes a source of concern when it is trying to rule or eliminate the love in the marriage.
If you are married, most especially newly married, have it in mind that no matter how joyous or enjoyable your marriage is now, once in a while, there may be issues which can make you unhappy, but the most important thing is for you to know how to handle or fix those issues.
Most times, unhappy marriage may have an underlying cause,this can either be as a result of unresolved conflicts or other issues.
If you see yourself in an unhappy marriage, you need to ask yourself some questions;
- What is the source of this unhappiness?
- What am I doing to save this situation?
Note also that when you allow unhappiness to rule in your marriage, it may eventually lead to divorce and other undesirable results.
How do you know that you are in an unhappy marriage?
- The communication level in your marriage will decline
- Lack of trust sets in
- There will be lack of emotional feeling for each other
- No spending of quality time together again
- Paying of less attention to your partner
- Unforgiving spirit towards your partner’s errors
- Incompatibility sets in
- Your partner will becomes less important to you
There are factors which can trigger unhappiness in marriage, this include; anxiety, depression, addictions,unrelated goals, unnecessary comparisons, unsatisfied wants, finance management etc.
Below are steps you should take to fix an unhappy marriage
Know the source of the unhappiness
What is the source of your unhappiness? Have your partner suddenly changed? Is there any habit he has developed that you are not happy with? Try and examine yourself and your partner to know the source of your unhappiness.
After discovering the source of the unhappiness, try to speak to your partner and hear his own view and ideology of the issue. Because it is said that “a problem shared is a problem solved .” How you are taking it may not actually be exactly how it is. It could be that you are getting something wrong. If the fault is also from you, your partner may also help you to counter such.
Always be ready to apologize and forgive
Admit your mistakes, apologise when necessary and also be willing to forgive if the fault is from your partner. Note that some marriages today are suffering or have come to an end because of this sentence “I’m sorry”. Always have this sentence in your mouth and be ready to forgive. Don’t see yourself as being superior or too big to apologize in your marriage.
Never resort to revenge
When you see yourself in an unhappy marriage, and it happens that your partner is the one that offended you, don’t ever think of hurting back as this may give you an unexpected result and may not also be the solution to your unhappiness. I heard the story of a lady whom her husband offended and also apologized to her, but she didn’t welcome the apology but sought revenge, she hired people to beat the husband, but unfortunately for her, her husband did not survive the beating. Now my question is; Did she solve the problem? Is she now happy ? The problem was not solved instead she created another big problem and source of unhappiness to herself. She can’t be happy because definitely, she may face the court and if found guilty will go to jail. Learn to forgive and don’t revenge.
Be careful when bringing in a third party
Unless both of you can longer handle the matter again, bringing in a third party in your marriage issues may pose a great risk to your marriage, advice given by this third party may be in favour of the person the like among you and may not be a solution to your unhappiness. Note also that your public status may be affected because the maybe tempted to tell others about your marriage issue.
Learn to start doing things together again
Find those areas where you have avoided your partner because you are unhappy. Start doing those things which you normally do together before. This can be watching television together, going to bed together, praying together etc.
What do you do when all these tips dose not work?
It is not 100% guaranteed that unhappiness in marriage can be eliminated, because at times you discover that one or both of the couple is not ready to forgive or change. If you find yourself in such a situation, then you don’t need to kill yourself. Pray to God because he is the only source of everlasting happiness and also don’t forget to consult a marriage counselor.
Also read;How to treat your wife: 15 things you should do
11 ways to handle a cheating husband and make him faithful