Funny clean jokes for adults and kids

Here are great compilation of funny clean jokes which are good for adults and kids that will bring you in a good mood, and make you laugh out loud. Funny and short jokes for adults and kids is a must for you and your family.


It is divided into;
  • Funny clean jokes for adults
  • Funny clean jokes for kids


Funny Clean Jokes for Adults


1.  I began to fear alcohol since the day my neighbour spend the whole night dancing to the sound of my generator, thinking that he is in the night club. He was shouting, "This DJ will kill me oooo". When I turned off the generator, he asked, " Who sang this track?."

2.  The fear of nobody knows tomorrow is the reason why some people still have your number.

3.  When she starts replying you with two letters, know that the relationship has left the mortuary and on its way to the cemetery.

4. Social studies class.......
Teacher: A woman who is 100% sure of where his husband is, is called?
Reply: A widow

5. Buying flowers for your girlfriend isn't a problem, the problem is when you receive a message from her saying, "the vegetable you bought for me does not have a good taste."

6.  When a stingy man is looking for wife, any lady that asks him for money is not a wife material.

7.  What is this World turning into? A friend told me that their father collects offering from them during morning devotion.

8.  I want a girl who will print my picture on her clothes and write " Beware of him, he is my sweetheart.

9.  The shortest conversation is when you are in the bathroom and someone opens the door.......
You: EEEEEEEE!
The other person: AAAAAAA!
End of conversation!

10.  Assuming a tooth is taken off every time you lie, be honest, "How many teeth will you be left with now?"

11.  Please, if I give you a ride, stop greeting through the window, such behavior consumes fuel.

12.  Doctor told me that I have only two months to live due to cancer, I killed the doctor, and court gave me 20 years.


13.  The problem with ugly people is that the expect too much from the camera.

14.  Whenever you don't have money, whatever you say at a family meeting causes confusion.

15.  When a woman's cooking goes wrong, she can say anything just to defend herself like, "sorry maybe the fish is a male fish."

16.  I don't know who needs to hear this, but you see those expensive empty perfume bottles on your dressing table, throw them away it has finished.

17.  If you want to hear the whole truth about yourself, make you neighbour angry.

18.  Being single ends at 26, above that you don't say you are single, but rather unmarried.

19.  I don't know why WhatsApp will give you "delete for everyone" option, and go ahead to gossip that you deleted it.

20.  Nowadays, makeup is not for only beauty, some ladies use it to hide from people that they are owing.

21.  A good woman brings her man's phone and waits outside while he is answering call.





Funny clean jokes for adults and kids


22.  Once in a  while, try to appreciate those who gossip about you, its not easy for someone to leave his or her problems and carry yours.

23.  Dear Queen, don't marry the packaging, study the container, we have too many expired products in well packaged containers.

24.  My first breakup was in form 4, she left me for a guy with new school uniform, when was yours?

25.  Your supposed husband was sent on earth to marry a dark woman, Boom! You bleached, how can he find you?

26.  I have said it, and will still say it again, if the price of rice does not come down during my wedding period, I will cook only beans.

27.  Someone said I should ask this, "between lizards and weed smokers, who likes uncompleted building most?"

28.  You are single because you don't edit your pictures, edit it, filter it, then you will explain when you guys meet.

29.  Poverty will make you have flat tummy, until you begin to eat well.

30.  Calling a fat girl my angel is stupid, how do you expect her to fly? Just call her my rock of ages.

31.  Don't push someone away, and expect them to be there when you are ready.

32.  Short people are now permitted to use their full pictures as passport.

33.  My future wife, try to be nice so that I don't have to take your responsibility while you take mine.

34.  When you finish talking bad about me, don't forget to tell them about the good things I did for you to balance it.

35.  Dear single ladies, I want to tell you the bitter truth, that 250 likes and above on your social media pictures always chase potential future husband away.



Funny Clean Jokes for Kids



Funny clean jokes for adults and kids


36.  If not that my mum is owing me all the money that visitors dash me, what is Benz that I cannot buy?

37.  Two mad men decided to attend school, so they collected, so they collected old books and sat under tree pretending that it was a school. The following day, one got there and climbed a tree, as the other one came there and saw his friend on top of a tree, he asked, "What are you doing up there?" The friend replied, "I'm in High School now!

38.  Do you know that when you are a kid, moon use to follow you? That's where insanity started.

39.  Since my primary school, up till now, I don't understand why teacher's toilet where out of bond. I wonder what kind of treasure is there.

40.  Anytime I kill a fly, I keep it next to my bird, so that the other flies will see and know how dangerous I am!

41.  You cannot be a nurse and be ugly, because I cannot fear injection and still fear you.

42.  Happiness is when you hide meat under rice, then your mum asks you to take more meat.

43.  Whenever I look at my mum, I see one million reason why I should be successful.

44.  If hunger have never woke you up, thank God because you have never experienced bad thing for life.

46.  So many things I want to say, but home training won't allow me.

47.  When you see cockroaches in your house, be happy, it's a sign that you have food because cockroaches are afraid of poverty.

48.  The most annoying soup to steal meat from is draw soup, the lines will follow you to another country.

Also read; Random Questions you can easily ask a girl or a guy - For fun and an interesting conversation



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